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Nikki Hinksman - Are we too ‘agreeable’?

Nikki Hinksman - Are we too ‘agreeable’?

Katie.Dix / 06 Jun 2019

Nikki Hinksman 

I was recently watching some footage of Jordan Peterson talking about gender equality. I know he is pretty controversial figure and there are plenty of people that either love him or hate him, so that got me curious! As a clinical psychiatrist and professor of psychology his approach is very logical, he clearly has expertise, strong opinions and is adding something interesting to the complex subject of gender equality.

One of the things he placed focus on was the connection between being ‘too agreeable’ and diminished success. It got me thinking… What does being ‘too agreeable’ look like?

There are definitely times in my life when I fit that category. I say yes to things that I really mean to say no to, take on too much work or the wrong kind of work because I’m being helpful to other people, ask a question rather than stating my opinion.

What is the cost?

Well the cost is to me. I feel resentment, I spread myself to thin, I feel disappointed that I didn’t own my expertise and most irritating of all, it’s all self-created!

This is where coaching has a valuable role to play. Working with my coach I am able to identify the triggers and patterns in behaviour, practice different responses in session so that I have the muscle memory to do it for real in life, build my self-appreciation and own the value I bring.

In my experience, both of living my life but also having the privilege to work with hundreds of men and women over the years, most of us have questions about ourselves from time to time, it’s normal. For me it’s not about agreeable-ness in particular, getting stuck in any behaviour that isn’t getting you where you want to go is limiting in many ways.

On 13th June I’m excited to be leading an event that explores coaching and how it can super-charge performance. If you have ever wondered if you are being too agreeable, or perhaps not agreeable enough, come and join us to explore some coaching tools that will help you align your behaviour to your goals. Please register for your space here.

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